The Bespokesman

Daily thought

Keep your friends close and fuck your enemies.  Life is too short to worry about your adversaries.

The Off Season

A brief look at what my least favorite team is doing now that their seasons is over. 

JT-

In my best Irish impersonation: “he doesn’t look pleased, Billy… this is headed straight for the rough.”

PK-

Getting drunk with gumba’s and assulting cabbies when he doesn’t want to pay them the 20 cents he owes them.

this is in a cop car

You’re a pro hockey player and you can’t get better looking women in a limo..?  cut me a break. You need wheeling school 101.

DK-

I had a hard time finding a picture of Duncan Keith cheating on his wife. Seeing as he once said to a girl I was dating “I’m Duncan Keith, want to come home with me?” it’s hard to believe it’s that difficult. 

DC-

This, of course, is everyone’s favorite scrapper, Dan Carcillo and his girlfriend.

MH-

Get well soon Marian Hossa!

PS

… ok I guess i don’t have anything bad to say about Patrick Dempsey-Sharp but he will be shooting a new season of Grey’s

NL and JO

Here we see Nick Leddy and Johnathan Oduya hanging out. 

CC

and finally, Corey Crawford at the Circus!

Round 1: Because it’s the cup

It’s that time again you ugly mother fuckers! THE STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS ARE HERE.  Are you prepared to see 16 teams of 20 rostered players with blades on their feet shoot, skate, pass, hit, intimidate and punch the living shit out of one another?  I certainly am.  I’m going to do you the pleasure of setting you up with my first round predictions and analysis. 

The East

Rangers  1 Vs. Senators 8 – The Rangers have been a dominant force all year. We’re used to seeing them limp into the playoffs over the last couple seasons but they are big, mean and fight more than any team in the league. The Senators on the other hand, weren’t expected to make playoffs.  They have proven they play an exceptional transition game and if you get them moving North and South they can be dangerous. They play the fast break better than any team in the league. The Sens have a bright side in that the Rangers ended the year soft and King Henrik has been off his game but I still see NY being way too strong. 

Rangers sweep in 4

Boston 2 vs Capitals 7 – The Bruins look to repeat for the first time since the redwings did it in 99.  We saw how scary of a team they could be in the month of November.  They were the most dominant team we had seen all year.  They are going to need Thomas to stand on his head again to make the run.  The Capitals could pull off the upset here.  Ovi has been on fire and Backstrom is back.

 I still like The Bruin’s in 6

Panthers 3 vs Devils 6 – I’m not going to spend much time analyzing this one.  The Panthers are not a number 3 team. The division standings don’t make sense IMO.  I think the panthers play a boring breed of puck. They have drastically improved their team from last year but not anywhere near enough to make a cup run.  I would have liked to see Tampa instead of them but what can you do?  The devils have 3 guys with 30 goals and Parise and Kovalchuk are dominant players.

Devils in 6 – and the aging Brodure will get pulled for the MOOOSE, Hedberg

Pittsburg 4 vs Philly 5 – It might not go to 7 but it will still be the best series.  This one can go either way depending on who shows up.  If the best player on earth and the best player on earth right now (Crosby and Malkin, respectively) come to play it could be done in 5.  If the Flyers can get in their head and Bryzgalov shows up it can be Philly’s in 5. I’m a HUGE fan of Laviollete and what the GM squad have done in Philly. Every player is performing above their ability. The game changer could be someone like Simmonds, Reed or Talbot.

Gut is telling me Penguins in 6 (hope I’m wrong)

The West

Vancouver 1 vs LA 8— Vancouver has won the president’s trophy for the second year straight.  The kings have limped into playoffs.  Look for Kessler and other key players to up their game.  Watch Luango redeem himself.  The Kings have an identity crisis.  Hey better discover it soon or this one is over quickly.

Vancouver in 5

Blues 2 vs San Jose 7—  Two similar teams.  Big, fast teams that like to bully the other team and do chaos around the net.  The problem for San Jose is, everything they do well the blues do better.  Brian Elliot has been standing on his skull all year but recently has tapered off and to be honest, I’m not a believer in him.  San Jose on the other hand just doesn’t look like they team they have been over the last 4 years.  They have lost speed and age is killing their lineup.  The blues will be too much for the Sharks if they don’t let inexperience overcome their ability. 

I like the Blues in 6

Coyotes 3 vs. Blackhawks 6— This might be the best matchup in the west.   I don’t think I have any wonder who the better team is (hawks) but I think the Coyotes have been playing a better brand of  hockey  recently. And with how close the pacific division was they were playing payoff hockey 3 weeks ago just to make playoffs.  Mike Smith has been terrific.  They have been big and mean and a week ago crushed the blues who play a similar brand of hockey at their own game.  The Yotes could be very Dangerous.  Then again Kane, Sharp, Stalberg, Hossa, Keith (most overrated d-man in hockey) and seabrook create quite the hill to climb.  I do think Crawford is awful though. 

Coyotes in 7 at home in THE DEN.

Predators  4 vs  Red Wings 5— I save my misery for the end.  The Preds have come alive with the union of the kostitsyn brothers  and the reintroduction of Alexander Radulov.  What once were their best players Fisher, Legwand, Erat have become a secondary concern.  This is not your expansion Predators and Berry Trotz might be the best coach in hockey.  Look what he has done over the last couple years with an average team. It should be easy for him now that he has some real talent.  The Red Wings could figure it out.  I mean, They’re always ALWAYS dangerous to play.  It will be an interesting series.

Sadly my gut says Preds in 6